As if viral glurges about cancer aren't bad enough, an ongoing, tasteless cancer awareness ploys hit Facebook in the beginning of 2010, and kicked off a series of memes, all of the same stripe.

Imagine this. You're going along, having a good, or even great day, and then suddenly (BOOM!) Along comes yet another cause invite or in this case, a meme telling you to stop what you're doing to take a moment to do something really ridiculous and THEN you'll be aware and promoting awareness of breast cancer, and be sure to tell all your friends to do likewise!

The whole thing is really a huge manipulation, and a lot of people got taken in yet again. They'll do anything a chain letter tells them, no matter how stupid, if it says it's helping fight cancer or contains any mentions of "Jesus" "Christ" "God" "friendship" "prayer." Gah!

It started with a Facebook email from a friend.

Only it wasn't a real email of honest to goodness communication.

It was that odious bra color hoax, which is actually a double-chain letter. The first part was the message itself telling me to change my status to something particular, all the girls were going to do it as a joke on the guys and it would cause cancer awareness. So the email was viral, and all those color statuses resulting would be the second viral.

And once again, some forward duped and used at least one of my friends, who didn't really think about me after all, but was merely having fun and trying to save lives with chain letters at the same time.

I rolled my eyes and screamed.

Know what this stupid inconsiderate chain letter also does to at least some survivors of breast cancer? If you want to find out, read In The Name Of Awareness, a real eye-opener, and all the reason in the world not to participate in this incredibly insensitive meme in all its mutations.

And now for all you gals who bought into this tawdry thing and actually posted your bra colors,

congratulations on your willingness to be sheeple and on your TMI over-exposure! Any of your 9000 guy friends who happens to click your Facebook status, now knows what your bra color is. You just told your 16 year old hormonal cousin, your 60 year old grandpa, your boss, your teachers or students, and your best friend's husband and kids what color your bra is. Talk about making life an open book. Why not just post it on every billboard you can find where you live or tell some news reporter to broadcast all about you and your prefered bra colors on national TV?

Needless to say, I did not participate...

What's Your Color Absolutely great entry by Tiffany Harper!

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In late 2010, somebody came up with the same degrading stupidity all over again.

This site gives info on it and a very good write-up, except for the one nasty word near the beginning.

This time, the women were supposed to put how they 'like it' in their FB statuses, while the men were supposed to believe they are talking about sex.

Actually, what the statuses refer to is where women like to put their handbags (purses) when they get home.

And this chain is supposed to keep the men guessing and the women tittulating while somehow the magic of forwarding is supposed to increase breast cancer awareness.

You'd think people would learn after a while and stop falling for these ridiculous Facebook memes, but no!

In late August and early September 2011, along came another chain status of the same ilk as the others, again, aimed at women, and claiming they can do it for breast cancer awareness.

It's the pregnant status chain letter.

The idea is to get women posting crazy statuses that are supposed to make it look as if they are pregnant and telling all about it, how far along they are and what they are craving.

Again, the punchline is "It's for breast cancer awareness!" What, the stupid bra color and how you like your handbags chains weren't already too much, somebody came out with this winner…

The numberings and cravings are as follows:

Chain: January-1week Febuary-2weeks March-3weeks

Miss Capri: and so on right through to December. Don't ask me to explain this crazy numbering system, it's anybody's guess what went on in this hoaxer's head.

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Chain: Days of the month:
1-Skittles
2-Starburst
3-Kit-Kat

*Cut*

22-Skittles

Miss Capri: Um you already put skittles in day 1, why are you doing it again?

Chain: 23-Gummy Bears
24-Gummy Worms

Miss Capri: Oh this is stupid. Aside from the shape, what's the difference between gummy bears and gummy worms? *Snip*

Chain: 31-Chocolate

Miss Capri: Yeah, you could've simplified this whole thing and put "Chocolate for every darn day!" and be done with it…

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So out of all these, only two were a main meal item, what bull.

This pregnant cravings thing is ridiculous anyway, it is way overkilled in bad TV plots and comedies. Pregnant women have aversions too, aversions to main course as well as dessert and snack items.

Tanja Cilia's excellent article also points out that, like the bra color mutation, the pregnant status chain is heartless toward women who have suffered and been made unable to bear and breastfeed babies they wanted so much and will never get the chance to have. It

Then yet another really disgusting mutation of this chain reared its ugly head.

It stated that women were supposed to put in their FB status their shoe size and then the word "inches" and a frowny face. And yet again "Don't tell the men what it's about, it's a very special secret among us girls and we'll be promoting breast cancer awareness nya nya nya nya!"

Oh, for the love of all things good!

And then some people have the petty nerve to get upset when someone doesn't like this viral scheme.

Charlotte Knight wrote an excellent article on this particular mutation of the chain, and the abuse she suffered from forwarders who got mad because she didn't praise it or them to the sky for actually doing nothing to fight cancer.

When I thought it had died, it reared up yet again in October 2011, yes, same inches thing, but with an added dimention of revolting where women were supposed to put how long it takes to do their hair. The inuendo isn't hard to guess.

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Chain: In support of breast cancer awareness!!

Miss Capri: Oh, c'mon, how can anyone not be "aware" of it when breast cancer messages are getting blasted just about everywhere, day in and day out all year long? Was that second exclamation mark really necessary?

Chain: So we all remember last years game of writing bra color as your status?…

Miss Capri: Remember, yes, I was one of the unfortunate recipients of a chain email invite to "play" by a contact. I didn't play…

Chain: ..or the way we like to have our handbag handy?

Miss Capri: I read about that mutation, hated it.

Chain: Well this year, it’s slightly different.

Miss Capri: No different, not really. Oh, the instruction of what to specifically put in the status might be, but the stupid scheme is exactly the same. always has been, always will be until women wise up, stop falling for it and it eventually dies. Preferably sooner than later.

Chain: You need to write your shoe size,( just the number) followed by the word ‘inches’

Miss Capri: Oh, crap, this mutation's still going? This was going back during the summer of 2011, along with the faux preggers status game. Well, no way. I'm not doing that!

Chain: and how long it takes to do your hair…

Miss Capri: As if I even keep track of that, please. But I bet this is suposed to make people think how long it takes you to have sex with your inchman instead. STUPID! DISGUSTING!

Chain: Remember last year so many people took part it made national news

Miss Capri: I don't remember it being on national news, though it definitely made news on the net. also, a lot of people thought it was tasteless and dumb.

Chain: and, the constant updating of status reminded everyone why we’re doing this and helped raise awareness!!

Miss Capri: Bullcrap! All it did was confuse some people, annoy the living heck out of others, and make still others laugh.

Chain: Do NOT tell any males what the status’ mean, keep them guessing!!

Miss Capri: Blah, blah, blah, same old, same old… The males are going to figure it out anyway, and why you wouldn't want them included in fighting breast cancer is beyond me. But that's just it, you're not… Not really. This whole meme from first mutation to the very last is a big sham.

Chain: And please copy and paste (in a message )this to all your female friends to see if we can make a bigger fuss this year than last year!!!

Miss Capri: Here's my answer to that request: NO! I got royally ticked off when a contact sent me the bra color version last year and I'm not about to make the same mistake she did and risk annoying anyone while looking like an airhead myself.

Chain: I did my part… now YOUR turn !

Miss Capri: Somehow I have a feeling you might not like what I do with "my turn."

Chain: Go on ladies…

Miss Capri: Ironic that you use the word 'ladies' here since you want women acting anything but 'ladylike'.

Chain: and let’s have all the men guessing!!………………

Miss Capri: No, they can get the full story anywhere online anyway, and especially here, spelled out for all to see, so your little secret isn't really so secret now is it?

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This article on the October 2011 mutation is excellent and so are the comments.

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1. I hate chain letters! So much that I've made a site for smashing them as a means of self-therapy because of all the viral junk everybody else seems to prefer over real communication. It's truly sad when the only time some people send you anything, it's something viral.

2. It's no one's business what color any of my underwear is, where I "like it" referring to where I put my purse, what my shoe size is, and my birth month does not dictate any cravings I have, which, you don't have to be pregnant to get. It is not my business what yours is either, and I don't want to know, thank you.

3. I get reminded of breast cancer a gazillion too many times already with people telling me to join the latest greatest newest truest breast cancer cause that's trying to get 1,000,000,000,000,000 members but they're only at 1,657,482,675 and every one of them NEEDS me to (insert dramatic impassioned DO SOMETHING FOR CANCER!" speech here)

Give me a break! I can't cure it by thinking about it all the time. All that'd do is put me in a sad state of perminant funk. It isn't hard for me to go from carefree to depressed in a hurry, especially when I get reminded of things I am really quite futile to do much of anything about other than cry and pray and give what little money or time I can, and I just can't be giving giving giving and crying all the time!

No thanks.

I haven't got scads of money and there are so many people in need and I can't decide who to help with what little I have, spread it all too thin and it doesn't do any good. I have lost a best friend and a few uncles to cancer, (not breast of course, but cancer nonetheless) please, I can't be my best at anything at all when people are always hounding me this way and that to help with this, give to that, and doing nothing but make me feel like I'm not doing enough, what I do is never good enough, and never will be, making me miserable. I'm already aware of it, I can't imagine anyone who wouldn't be aware of it unless they are very young, have some serious mental disabilities that make them incapable of understanding what "cancer means, or else they live on another planet...

There are so many other conditions that need cures or even treatments for, and they don't seem to get anywhere near the coverage and attention this one cause gets.

4. Chain letters accomplish even less than anything I actually give to charities.

5. I don't give money away on Facebook, not even to causes. Facebook doesn't take Paypal.

6. I don't see the point in joining causes that remind me every day to do something about the cause, donate, recruit, donate, recruit, lather, rince, repeat... Haven't the money...Despise the idea of spamming friends with invites, which is what "recruiting" is on these Facebook causes/groups/pages, and now status chains.

7. This chain scheme is a step below even the scads of cause invites out there. There's no way it's going to do a single thing for breast cancer, nobody's going to be made more aware or get cured because someone or 6,000,000 girls put colors in their statuses. The only real awareness is Facebook beltching out more useless hot air when hit with another rash of females falling for the same old dirty tricks and posting the latest incarnation of the "Look really coy, sexy and naughty and keep the men guessing with this status and make people aware of breast cancer!"

8. To add to this, the airheaded exploitiveness of it all. The guys won't know you gals' bra colors or what you're talking about handbags, shoe sizes, pregnant cravings etc. for, and will be kept wondering! Hah! This stupid chain scheme is all over the internet news now, and guys read news sites with stories about this chain scheme too. Chain letters simply don't stay secret.

if the goal is to raise awareness of cancer, why try to leave the guys out of the loop? Makes no sense.

9. Here's a kicker to consider: what if these racy "keep 'em guessing and in shock for breast cancer" joke memes weren't even originated by women? What if whoever starts these things is a hormonal zit-faced teenager or some dirty-minded old geezer trying to have a bit of ill-gotten fun at the expense of the whole female gender?

10. Do we really need more particularly lame-brained, sexually exploitive meme telling us to be aware of cancer, as if we're not already aware of it and being reminded every 2 seconds on Facebook or even on TV. Reminding me - know what that does? Makes me feel hopeless and like I'm getting told I should always stop whatever I'm doing and sit in gloomy hopelessness thinking about cancer and everybody I can't really help.

I've said it before, must I say it again?

I think just about everyone who are old enough to know they possess so much as a set of nipples, is already WELL AWARE of the existence of breast cancer. You'd have to be living pretty deep under a pile of rocks and sand not to be blasted day in, week out, month in, year out, decade after decade with messages shouting "BREAST CANCER!"

So these chains are useless on that front.

None of them do a thing to cure the condition.

They degrade women by turning them into sex objects for men to drool over. In the case of the faux pregnancy thing, it makes women tell useless fibs for some kind of "Hah, gotcha!" shock value.

Bra color, Purses, shoe sizes and fake pregnant statuses have nothing to do with actually fighting cancer other than the purses containing enough money and checks to donate to charity, which, BTW, is what people should be doing instead of participating in hair-brained chain status schemes.

I especially love what an article on one of the links above said, cancer is NOT sexy, and such coy and thoughtless chain schemes are making light of, trivializing and insulting.

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I'm just so sick of getting slapped around, "Cancer!" pushed and pulled, "Cancer!" yanked, "Cancer!" tugged, "Cancer!" pressed, "Cancer!" suffocated, "Cancer!" jabbed, "Cancer!" smothered, "Cancer!" mauled, "Cancer! buffetted and bruised from all sides and up and down with chain letters and the media yelling "Cancer! Cancer!" all the freaking time!

Why, oh, why doesn't the world want me to be happy for even a second!?

Is it any wonder I get so blistered at these sad forwards, useless Facebook causes and the people who inflict them on me?

Yes, I know cancer exists. Yes, I am well aware of it. Yes, I've had relatives who died of it. Yes, I lost a best friend to it. Yes, I know, I may eventually die of it, though I hope to God not, anyway, I just don't want to hear it any more, okay!? There ARE other concerns in the world, many many others, which are just as devastating, and it is emotionally taxing enough without being suddenly confronted with bursts of cancer blast messages everywhere, 24/7!